Overcoming Self-Limiting Habits

Every Good Book Says Something About Doing Your Best.

Over the years, I’ve had a chance to read many “Good Books” of the Religious variety. Of the things they have in common: They all say something about always doing your best.

Sage advice put down in print as soon as writing was invented.

Nowadays most of us strive for this, yet complicate our success with self-limiting behaviors. Many of these self-limiting behaviors are obvious and many are subtle. But the effect is the same; We strive to achieve our goals, meet our responsibilities and represent human-kind at the highest level, only to frustrate our efforts with falling short time and again. 

Why?

One reason, I think, is that the admonition to “Do your best” was first uttered at a time when the sharpest arrow was still jagged. Nowadays we live in a world that we perceive as precise and the gold standard of doing your best is to seek perfection.

In the old days they understood the concept of “Good Enough”. They had to. They made wheels out of rocks. I think it began to get really hard for many of us to manifest unbridled enthusiasm and dogged perseverance around the time of the Industrial Revolution. Arrows started getting really sharp by then.

Today, the concept of “Good Enough” seems relegated to Baseball. If you were successful at achieving your goal three out of ten times, would you consider yourself successful? Probably not. Get three hits for every ten at bats consistently in Baseball and you will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Football, on the other hand is as precise as surgery. A game of inches they like to say. Now I ask you, which sport is more relaxing to watch? 

So along with self-limiting behaviors that interfere with goal achievements and tarnish our self-confidence, add stress. The stress of seeking perfection, while all the time being an imperfect being.  

How do we cope?

We learn to soften the blow of falling short with cushions made of rationales, excuses and emotionally deadening behaviors (like compulsiveness and boozing). These coping skills come on slowly through our lives…But by the time we’re middle-aged, they are so deeply ensconced in our psyche, they are dark habits that seem impossible to break. 

How do we break them?

We learn to identify the dark habits first of all. The obvious ones are pretty easy to identify. The subtle ones are more sophisticated. They seem like an essential element of our character. But they’re not. Whether our dark habits are obvious or subtle, they share the same essential trait: They’re the cushioning beneath Failures and Rejections compensated for.

So how do we identify our dark habits and then, once recognized, how do we eradicate them? The answer is, through a process. Like sharpening an arrows blade, we can strive to sharpen our whole self to become a most excellent representative of human-kind capable of achieving success.

Many of the tools we need to sharpen ourselves can be found on Bookshelves. Since the original Good Books were written soon after writing was invented, other Good Books have been published on the very topic of rising above the bondage of our dark habits.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to read one such Good Book…and I think it’s terrific. It’s the reason I’m writing to you now. The book is called; Fire Your Excuses. You can find it at Barnes & Noble or on Amazon. Dark Habits like to wear invisibility shields. You can’t catch them if you can’t see them. Well the authors of Fire Your Excuses were smart enough to address that little subterfuge by creating a Self-Assessment Survey. That’s how I got hooked on their book. The Self-Assessment Survey is online and free. I encourage you to take it at FireYourExcuses.com. After I took the survey, I started reading the book. Nicely structured, intelligently written and most importantly, a well-designed strategy for becoming “Good Enough”, first of all…by Firing Your Excuses!

Now obviously, my sentiments regarding this book are relative. I see nicely structured, someone else sees imprecise. I consider it intelligently written, someone else thinks it’s stupid. I appraise it for its well designed strategy, someone else sees the game plan as deeply flawed. All I can say is; I like baseball.

What I’m looking for from you is this. Read this book and add your insights to our blog. Let’s start a conversation on self-limiting behaviors so we can help each other over-come them. Tell us what other books you’ve read that have helped you climb to the next level. We owe this to our kids, our world and to the Great Writer of those original Good Books that we continue to read today.

Calm Seas,

Rudy Gartner

Sagestones.net